What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
10.06.2025 00:41
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
Are judges being lenient on hard criminals?
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
Why do all the stupid people think Donald J. Trump is stupid?
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
Im still living with it.
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
NASCAR Cup Series qualifying order for Michigan International Speedway - NASCAR.com
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
Comes on , in middle age.
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
How do you handle your mother-in-law after you heard her talking badly about you in the next room?
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
This is how, and why children get BPD.
Do leftists understand why young men are becoming more right-wing?
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
6 Foods You Should Be Eating for Bone Health, According to Dietitians - Yahoo
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
Would this be the day?
Is it possible for buyers to negotiate after an inspection if the appraisal is lower than expected?
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
What is the best case of “You just picked a fight with the wrong person” that you've witnessed?
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
My life is so biszare .
As i do to all so called friends.?
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
Why is Tiananmen Square censored?
I never cut or harmed myself..
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
Do married men like sucking dick?
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
I said to her
I was very sick at this time too.
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
Especially a lifetime of it.
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
I couldn’t, believe it.
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
He knew the spot.
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
I did it because my mum asked me too!
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
What did i know ?
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
My mum and dad in the seventies!
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
And who doesn’t know suffering?
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
Where the ultimate outsiders.
She loved him until the end.
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
Who then, do I blame.?
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
He resisted the act ,that day.
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
My family never makes their pension either.
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
We were not on the streets..
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
I know ,a lot about trauma.
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
I will be 64.
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
They are buried together, in the same grave..
(And it was in our own minds.)
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
I was seconnd youngest,
I had hoped to write a book about this .
So whats the point in blame.
But, we were locked up after school.
Put me off passion for life!!
I don,t even have a pension.
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
Im dying but, im not bitter.
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
One cannot live in the past .
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
But it wasn’t much.
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
All the time i was locked up.
When she asked me how she looked .
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
I was scared of men, in general
And i lived it daily.
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
So, i spoilt her more .
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
I was 9 years of age.
I could never make a relationship work though!
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
This is soul school!.
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
She married twice! .
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
I waited trembling.
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
The only rule us 5 kids had .
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
But ive been too sick for many years..
It was going to be , some day.
Ive learnt so much.
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
I think the readers, may guess!
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
Why did i forgive my father ?
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
I have no regrets .
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
I write beautiful poetry .
She was in good health!
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
Was to survive, this bastard.
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
She found it foreign!.
On the 31st of Jan this month .
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
She wouldn,t have been !
He was dying to do it , i knew.
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
We all went to grammer schools
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.